Speed Trials

Last night Riot Squad took to the track for the first time, lining up against Vermont’s Green Mountain Derby Dames. This marked the season opener for the Rideau Valley Roller Girls, and catapulted Riot Squad into their bouting career.

First of all, I want to say how GOOD the ladies looked last night. We got our uniforms earlier in the week, and they are AMAZING! We had made the conscious decision to keep a certain level of uniformity, to come out looking like a united team (which goes with the quintessential varsity colours we use – navy and yellow). When I saw the ladies come out for their warm up, I literally stopped in my tracks and gaped at them for a while. They looked SO GOOD. Of course I wished I could have been there with them, wearing my own jersey and skating alongside these terrific girls, but seeing them so cohesive on the track was great.

In a last minute switcheroo of roles, I took the mic and emceed the event with none other than MC NMC (also known as Drunky Brewster, RVRG’s long-standing spirit leader). We had a great time emceeing, though we had a rocky start, with a lot of “deer in headlights” moments, not knowing what to say next.

The Derby Dames took the lead in the first jam and scored five points. But Riot Squad didn’t let it psych them out, and they came back hard and soon the score had shifted to 13 for Ottawa and 5 for Vermont. There were great jams for both teams, and TazSlamian Devil was outstanding as a jammer for GMDD. I was told that she is usually a blocker, but the way she tore through the pack and got lead jam practically EVERY time she jammed makes me wonder if she won’t have a change of heart and start jamming full time. Burley Quinn was another great jammer for Vermont, who was thrown in practically every second jam. And she never lost her steam!! Unbelievable!

As for Riot Squad, we knew that our jammers were our “aces in the hole” because they are all SO STRONG! N. ToxicKate cleared through the pack often, and the crowd cheered so loudly every time she emerged from the pack! Lady Shambles and Death From Below really came out into their own last night, finding the holes in the pack and never hesitating. And Arsenic Martini was this silent killer that stealthily cruised through, hugging that inside line, practically every time she jammed.

The blockers also had some GREAT plays and HARD hits! Brickfist at Tuffy Knees and Arya Dunne kept that back line like nobody’s business, and the Vermont jammers were often stonewalled at the back of the pack. Margaret Choke and Bella Hematoma also had some really big hits, and weren’t afraid to go out there and make something happen. Killer Kozac and Axxident were exceptional pivots. One thing I really noticed about the whole team last night was that they TALKED to each other, and communication is key in Roller Derby. It is a true team sport, where no one girl can win (or lose) a game. You have to be a cohesive unit, and they were!!

Unfortunately, we had a major injury with less than 2 minutes left in the first half, and Livid Loquita, a rookie player for Green Mountain Derby Dames (this was her first bout also) was laid up with an ankle injury. Paramedics treated her until the ambulance arrived (after some unforeseen delays, unfortunately) and she was rushed to emergency to reset the ankle. All our derby love and good vibes go out to her and we hope she has a swift recovery.

Finally, I gotta say that we had a GREAT crowd last night. They were receptive, warm, and cheered for the away team almost as much as for the Riot Squad. We also had great volunteers, some returning from last season, and some new faces that want to come back and volunteer at our next bout!

Oh god, I can’t believe I’m already thinking about the next bout… (May 29 – Slaughter Daughter / Riot Squad double header! Stay tuned!!)

Angelo and I have been going to the gym about 2 times a week for the past few weeks, and it’s been great. I’ve had to alter my routine quite significantly, since I can’t even think of running on the treadmill, or using the step-machine or elliptical. There’s been a lot of walking, a little bit of biking, and a lot of physio moves, stretches, and upper-body strength training. It’s not what I want to be doing, and today I noticed I was staring, longingly, at the fit woman running on the treadmill. Oh how I miss running.

I also miss derby. I was at practice last night, and I took a whole bunch of notes and it sparked a few epiphanies for me. I so want to be on skates, working with my new team, building our skills. But I’m stuck just waiting it out, planning out my progression back into both derby and running once my knee fully recovers.

And in the meantime, I have for you the unveiling of our team logo!!! This was created by one of our teammates, Brickfist at Tuffyknees, and it’s freakin’ AWESOME!!!

I can’t wait till we get our uniforms. We’re going to look so baddass on the track!!!

Just came back from a preview screening of “Whip It” – the new Drew Barrymore/Ellen Page vehicle about Roller Derby. The entire RVRG crew headed out to the cinema for the screening, and what solidarity it was to have us all there together.

The movie was pretty formulaic, the story was a little asinine, but I tell you what: I felt pretty damn cool sitting in that theatre with my pleather jacket on and my peeps filling three rows worth of seats, and I was proud to answer the woman who sat next to me that YES, the girls in our league really do hit that hard. It was one of those moments where everything kind of stops and where I sort of realized that I actually AM a derby girl. (You know, it’s like those weird moments where the sound of your own name seems really odd to you – an objective realization of how you are seen in the world)

On my way home, I started reminiscing hardcore about my early days of Derby. I remember going to the Beast of the East 2008, as a spectator, to watch the girls. I bumped into a friend from high school, who I hadn’t seen in years, and she was on one of the Montreal teams. She said to me: “Derby will take over your life. But what a great thing!” and I got excited at the prospect.

However, at first, it didn’t take over my life, and I was scared that maybe I didn’t have it in me to be a Roller Girl. But I stuck with it, through my first big fall:

(that made me love that I could be so tough!)

…through hours of practices where it seemed I’d never get fast, never hit hard, and never get the strategy… Through moments of self doubt where I thought everyone was against me and rather I not even show up to practice…

and then suddenly, there it was: I was thinking about derby all the time. I was waiting for practices instead of coming up with excuses not to go. I was invested in these girls that I skate with every week:

Derby had begun to take over my life. And then I started to ref, because I couldn’t bear to attend a Derby Bout and not be on skates. I learned so much in that season of reffing, and I owe a big thanks to the refs you showed me the way!

And then a few months ago, I found my Derby Name and I got my first uniform.

That game in Albany was the pinnacle of my derby career to date. And not because I was particularly stellar or even stood out in any way (I actually warmed the bench for most of the game). No, it was a moment I won’t forget because it was THE MOST FUN I’D EVER HAD ON SKATES.. The adrenaline was pumping, and the team was so cohesive. It was an amazing time!

It’s tough to get all sappy about something that’s supposed to be so baddass, but I can honestly say that I love Roller Derby. I love what it does for me, I love what I get from it, and I love the people who do it with me. I’m playing in London, ON this weekend, and I can’t friggin’ wait!

And through all that Derby love, comes the overwhelming knowledge that not only do we have a great league, we also have an entire pack of fresh meat who have already shown their dedication and commitment, working their little butts off to make the minimum skills test and become full fledged members. Nothing warms the heart more.

Now the only thing to do is wait with great anticipation for the coming out season of RVRG’s second team: the RIOT SQUAD!!! Stay tuned…

I did keep up with my running, and cross training. However, my knee started to get really sore, and my whole legs stiffened right up, and I had to cut back on my time (on Wednesday I ran 36 min instead of 42). It was brutal. I’ve never had any of these kinds of aches or pains before, and it really is a sign that I’m getting OLDER!

Yesterday I had roller derby practice, and I bought some knee sleeves, because I was so scared of what could happen if I went without them. About halfway through the second scrimmage, I fell on my knee really weird, and it sent this shooting pain up my leg. Tears sprung to my eyes, and I got really scared. I tried to take it easy for the rest of the scrimmage, but with every fall, it created that same pain, and I don’t know what to do now. I stretched as often as I could between jams, and put my feet up the moment I got home. I am going to go out for my run today, but I’m really going to monitor how the knee feels. And maybe it’s time to set up an appointment with a Physiotherapist and get some knee strengthening exercises to build it up. Man, I hate getting older!!!

This weekend was also a time of reflection in terms of eating and weight loss. Ever since I stopped “dieting” a couple of months ago, I gained those 15lbs I’d spent the last 3 years keeping at bay. Like, I gained them in a matter of weeks. It’s totally like an albatross around my neck. I want them gone, and I want them gone NOW. But after doing a lot of reading on set points and eating disorders and restricting and all that, I found out that it’s going to take some time for my body to stop hoarding its calories, and to trust me again that I won’t starve it. I’ve also decided that I’m going to work at losing the weight slowly, aiming at 1/2 pound per week. (At the end of this 10-week running program, I hope to be 5lbs lighter. I will only weigh myself at the end of the 10-weeks, and not at all during the program).

However, it is totally scary because over the past three years, while I have definitely been this weight before, I’ve never STAYED at this weight for very long, because I’d always revert back to a crash diet or fast. So while I try and try to convince myself that I am doing things the right way this time, it is still very uncomfortable for me to be at this weight for so long…. It has pushed me out of my comfort zone, and I have had an anxious feeling for the past three days.

The other terrifying thing is that I now have to actually deal with whatever it is that I’ve been repressing while going crazy on my weight. During my time with my counselor, I was given some meditative exercises to check in with my feelings (which I’ve been completely disengaged from for a long time). It may seem strange that a girl who cries at the drop of a hat is not in touch with her feelings, but it’s true, I really don’t have a clue. Whenever I cry, and I actually literally think to myself: “Oh, it must be that time of the month, or I’m just over-tired, or I haven’t had my coffee yet today, etc…” I always associate the crying with a physical ailment, and I NEVER address any kind of emotional tie that might be associated with it.

It was a pretty revealing moment when I sat with my counselor and told her that I was a highly emotional person, and then went on to talk about highly personal matters for about 20 minutes without showing ANY sign of emotion. When she asked me about it, I said, “oh well, I mostly cry in private, when I’m alone.”

There is definitely hope on the horizon, however. First of all, the 10-week program that I’m following is EXTREMELY manageable, and actually quite enjoyable. It’s something that I can build on, and sustain over many weeks.

The other extremely important thing is that Angelo and I are talking our way through this whole thing. He’s become my ally, and I trust him more now. I don’t get nearly as embarrassed if he walks in on me while I’m doing an exercise video, and I don’t get nearly as embarrassed when he “catches” me eating. That has made a huge difference. Another guy that has really lifted my spirits lately is this guy:

He comes into the apartment all the time, and we’ve named him “Hunter”. He actually belongs to our neighbour downstairs, but for the time being, he spends most of his evenings with us. It’s great. There is nothing more soothing that petting a cat and hearing him purr. We’re really getting attached to the little guy, and we’re pretty happy he’s around.