Speed Trials

I have entered my thirties. It happened quite un-dramatically. I woke up in Toronto on the morning of my birthday, rolled over to give Ange a kiss, and stumbled out of my hotel room to have a quick breakfast before Derby Training Camp.

I got some super sweet birthday wishes from some of the girls – and then we were off.

Training Camp was great. Right up until the point where I fell on my knee wrong and hurt it. I didn’t know what it was, but I knew that under that tightly strapped knee pad there was something out of sorts, a dull ache that crept from under my kneecap and threatened to spread… fast. I fell on it again and that was it. It was time to get off the track. The rest of the day consisted of stretching, icing, attempting to get back onto the track for more drills, falling on it again, feeling the sharp pain, and then stretching and icing some more. Not great.

This morning my knee was still swollen, still sore, and its range of motion worsened by the night’s sleep.

“Welcome to your Thirties, Marlene. You are officially OLD.”

I felt awkward around the girls, because I didn’t know what was wrong. Then one of the girls came over and said knowingly; “That’s the same knee as before, isn’t it?” I didn’t really answer her, because I hadn’t connected the dots yet. Though she could see right away the connection between the pain I had in the past with today’s injury. (Man, I can be so blind to these things sometimes. I thank my girls for having my back when even I can’t put two and two together).

It was only on the drive back home today when it all came together for me: this knee acted up months ago, when I fell at derby practice and strained it in some way. Then all of a sudden I was having trouble running. I ignored the soreness for a while, and then tried to “fix” it with knee sleeves. Then I tried run-walking, then I tried just using the elliptical. I thought I had shin splints. I thought I was just increasing mileage too quickly. I thought I could run through the pain. And now…? Now I’m having a hard time walking, and climbing the two flights of stairs to my apartment takes an excruciatingly long time.

So I’m going to the physiotherapy clinic tomorrow, and hopefully will get a diagnosis and begin what is sure to be a slow, laboured recovery.

It’s bummed me out, but also has made me disappointed in my inability to read my own body. Why the disconnect? Why did I think that I was somehow immune to injury? I jumped right into a new sport (Derby), widely varying running programs (two week blitzes, anyone?) and even threw in the odd tennis game here and there, with nary a stretch before or after. Did I really think I could be as limber as I was when I turned 20?

What it comes down to is that I’m sad. I miss running. I miss being able to put some shoes on, head out the door, and spend 20, or 40, or 60 minutes with just myself, just my thoughts, and just let time and pressures and stresses slip away. I miss looking out at the canal, or along a shady path, or up at some gorgeous house, and feeling quelled by it.

I also miss derby. I’ve only been to a handful of practices this month, and it looks like I’ll be missing a couple more. I miss being on my skates, honing a new skill, learning a new move. I miss my girls. The time I spent on skates this weekend (albeit too short) was AMAZING. I felt so good getting out there and getting my a$$ kicked. I wanted so badly to be on that track, and scrimmage with the girls, but I couldn’t, and that just sucks.

I’ll post more after I’ve seen a specialist, and know exactly what is wrong with the knee.

Sigh. Mega Sigh.

PS. On a brighter note, Ange bought me two books for my birthday: one of which is Into the Wild. Jon Krakauer is one of the COOLEST people on earth. The things he writes stays with me for days. I think it’s because he has a fairly unassuming manner, and so can lead his readers into pretty heavy subject matter with assurance. If he was any more flamboyant in his writing, I’d be too scared to get caught up in a maelstrom – but as he writes, I feel calmed, and that he could somehow shelter me (the reader) from the impending storm.

…And I certainly am not half way through to my goal of 50,000 words. Sigh.

It’s so difficult working from Google Docs, because it means I have to be online to write. And when I’m online, I get distracted with things like Repro Depot, Knit Knit, 101 Cookbooks and Hungry Nation.

Also, I can’t stop thinking about 99¢ cappuccinos. I really want one. Right now. At 10:20pm.

I should be writing…

I was sitting at the computer last night, in my darkened living room, glancing out the window into the dark night, and thought it must be time for bed. But no, it wasn’t – it was barely 8pm.

I huffed about the ridiculously early sunsets, and then resolutely decided that I wanted to bake…. something. I didn’t know what! I pulled out my book on baking and glanced at a few of the recipes.

Scones. That’s what I wanted to make. Nothing too sweet, nice and flaky, and good with butter. Mm-m. Scones. I told Angelo I was making scones. Angelo isn’t big on sweets, or baked goods, so he doesn’t usually care what the hell I do in the kitchen, but last night, he seized the opportunity and added: “Bake something with Maple Syrup and almonds in it!!”

Eureka! Something that peaked his interest??? Well, he didn’t have to ask me twice, I immediately Googled “Maple Syrup and Almond Scones” I was directed to 101 Cookbooks and this recipe.

I started with a 1/4 cup of liquid heaven…

I don’t know if it’s my French Canadian roots or what, but maple syrup is hands down my favourite sweetener (favourite food? perhaps) of all time. Everything about it is so good – the texture, the taste, the sweetness, the stickiness… Oh man, I love maple syrup!

So the recipe didn’t call for any almonds, but I just substituted the oats for almonds. I added them to the fo-pro and it turned them into almond meal mixed in with the flour.

I also coated the scones with more maple syrup instead of the egg wash, because I didn’t have any coarse grained sugar on hand. The scones were very tasty, not too sweet, and you could definitely feel the texture of the almond meal. They are exceptionally good warmed up with a spread of butter (aka Earth Balance).

And, as always, it was very therapeutic to get my hands dirty and use the fo-pro again…

Last night I pulled out an old t-shirt that I hadn’t worn in a while, and I took my scissors to ‘er.

I wanted to make a t-shirt scarf/necklace like I had seen on Threadbanger and other sites. I think the originator of the project is cucumbersome and though her tutorial is no more, I was able to make my own just by looking at the pictures and reading some comments from the Instructables site.

This project was super easy, but nevertheless, it really helps to have good equipment. I just bought these scissors, and they are THE BEST.

I also bought a pretty inexpensive chalk heart, and it’s made tracing and cutting SO much simpler! These two items have reduced my level of sewing-induced stress dramatically!

I cut 1″ strands starting from the bottom of my t-shirt, all the way up to the armpits.

Once I was done cutting, I stretched out each individual strand and they immediately curled up on themselves. Then I cut two more lengths of t-shirt and covered the seams.

I really like the way it turned out, and it’s nice and soft around my neck.

Yay. I contemplated sleeping in it last night, but decided against it. I’m wearing it now, and Angelo has also commented on it a bunch. It always helps to get boyfriend approval on things like this.

But not anymore. I’m back on the wagon. I knew I had to get over this mental hump, so last week I decided to go for a run just for fun. I didn’t set a course, I didn’t set a time goal, I didn’t even wear my heart rate monitor. I just went out to run. And it was fun, which was a huge relief. I was probably out for about 15-20 minutes, not super long by anyone’s standards, but who cares, it was good just to feel good about running.

I didn’t manage another run until the Friday, and then I banged out a long one. Continuous running, too. It was great.

So now I’m back on track with the exercise. Though I do have a couple of thoughts on the upcoming change of weather:

1. I need to get my cross country skis waxed. My goal for the winter is to get out there twice a week, sometimes in lieu of a run (when the weather is really bad).

2. I need to find some running trails. I ran 28 min around my neighbourhood last night, on sidewalks, and it KILLED my calves. OUCH!!!

3. I need to reconcile with the treadmill. Just yesterday I checked out the gym at work for the first time in forever, and I was surprised to see that they bought a second treadmill, as well as a couple more pieces of new equipment. When the snow falls, I’m going to have to bite the bullet and head indoors.