I haven’t posted in a while because nothing’s really changed over the last few weeks. Artengine still keeps me busy most days, NAC keeps me busy most Tuesday and Thursday evenings, and Angelo is still as great as ever.
But recently I’ve been a little introspective, and I decided I needed a cleanse. Big time, for real, straight up. I tried the Master Cleanse twice before, the first time lasting five days, the second time a dismal 3. So I brought my idea to Ange, and asked for his help. I knew I couldn’t do this alone. I knew my will power wasn’t strong enough to get through it by myself. He was really great about it, and even set up a calendar of rewards for me for every day I stayed on the programme.
So for the last seven days I’ve ingested nothing but the lemonade drink, Peppermint tea, and a herbal laxative tea and salt water flush for bowel evacuations. It’s been fun!
Actually, it’s been tough. And not fun at all. I’ve been really cold for seven days straight, to the point where I can’t sleep unless Ange is there to keep me warm. And I’ve been tired and a little down for most of it. It’s been really taxing, and I wanted to give up after day four, but Angelo made me talk it out and convinced me to stick with it. Our compromise was to go for seven days, meaning I would end it tomorrow, but this morning I felt like I could go on, so I changed my mind again and decided to do the whole ten days. That would bring me up to the end of Saturday.
I’m feeling good about the fact that I’ve done it this long, and I’m starting to see how it is changing my relationship with food, and bringing to light my own fortitude, my own sense of self. There is definitely a change occurring in me as we speak, and it’s so reassuring. It’s uplifting, amidst the hardship of this fast. I don’t automatically open the fridge door the minute I get home anymore, and I’m more in control of myself.
The last few days have seen me pouring over cookbooks, looking for the healthiest versions of things, and thinking that all I want to do is make tomato sauce and vegetable stock and dolmades and no-sugar muffins from scratch.